Wild Night
by Stemwinder
Summary: *COMPLETE* ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WARNING! Lee and Amanda have mixed feelings after Amanda uses Deadly force. ** Revised! ** First Story in the WN series.
1. Part One: Because The Night

Wild Night  
  
  
Disclaimer: The usual. I don't own them, don't make money from them, the plot is purely my idea, the only thing I own. Oh, and I own some of the poetry, that is mine. The quotes in chapters two, three, four and six are from "The Phantom Of The Opera" By Andrew Lloyd Webber. Don't own that either. (but I wish I did.). I have no money, so don't sue me.  
  
Setting: After a lot of thought, I've changed the timing slightly, to after "Utopia Now" For the purposes of this story, and the ones to follow, we're going to say that "Utopia" and the third season eps before hand took place in spring of 1985, which would place this story in the summer. Which, is probably for the best, since the third season is the one I know the best!  
  
Premise: Amanda and Lee deal with some surprising emotions after Amanda uses deadly force to save Lee's life.  
  
Rating: PG-13 version. There is also an NC-17 version, which can be found on ff.net  
  
Archive: The Kruchev List has blanket archival priveledges for any and all of my stories . . . anywhere else is fine too, just send me the link so I can check it out!  
  
Authors notes: I am well aware that it falls out of character, and that gives me reservations about posting it. Keep in mind, please, that this is a TOTAL AU story, because we know that it would never happen. But. . . what if it did? It popped into my head completely formed; actually, it came to me in a fever induced dream. I couldn't resist! So, that said, please don't kill me, but do offer CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and praise, both in heaping doses, please! Flames will be doused by my ever handy, high powered garden hose. (Hey, it needs a workout anyway!)  
  
A huge shout out to my wonderful betas, Jacqueline (For reading the PG 13 version and assuring me it didn't over step it's rating,) And Barb, as always for her wonderful insight, and catching every mistake I would have missed because I just skimmed for them.   
And to Breezy, without whom I would have scrapped this story due to the qualms I had with writing it. You told me straight out "Change the beginning, and this baby can fly. And write more, I need more!" That little bit of feedback made all the difference in the world!  
And to Dawn and Jessi, who upon hearing Breezy and I discussing the plot line, demanded to see this fic, and boosted my ego even more!  
Last, but not least, to all the people who reviewed this story in it's previous incarnation. After sorting through all the suggestions, I hope I have a story that's a lot stronger than before!  
  
  
And now . . . Wild Night, part One: Because The Night  
  
**********  
  
Prologue: Dreams Come True, and This One I Fear  
A warehouse in DC.   
Friday, June 14, 1985, 3:00 pm.   
  
  
'Light is Blind, Dark is Sight. If only my Eyes Could See, if only They Might.'  
Original Poem.  
  
She should have stayed in the car.  
  
Amanda realized that as she saw Lee being dragged off by August Kincaid. Then, she could have already called for backup. It was supposed to be a simple stakeout, and she was to have been window dressing. And then Lee had heard those shots. He'd told her to stay in the car, and ran off without calling for backup.  
  
Kincaid had Lee at the back of the warehouse now, and Amanda was looking around for something, anything, to use as a weapon. She'd grabbed the spare gun out of Lee's glove compartment when she decided to follow him, but she really didn't want to use it. It didn't look like she had much of a choice. Kincaid was alone. Maybe she wouldn't even have to fire.  
  
She could see Kincaid slapping and yelling at Lee. "Where is it? Where is the disk, Stetson?"  
  
"Don't know what you're talking about. . . " Lee snapped.  
  
Amanda decided it had to end. She pulled the gun out of her purse and came around the boxes she'd been crouching behind. She got closer, hoping that would improve her aim if she actually needed to fire. "Freeze!"  
  
Kincaid smiled an evil smile, like someone who knows he's holding the winning card. He pulled his own gun and whirled toward Lee, ready to shoot.  
  
Amanda's gut reaction prevailed. She never even remembered pulling the trigger.  
  
  
  
  
Chapter One: The Nightmare.  
The Agency, outside the Debriefing room, 7:00 pm  
  
'Every second is a struggle, a fight to keep emotions in check. To fight the anger. To fight the sadness. To fight the hurt. To fight the pain that rocks my soul.'  
Original Poem  
  
When that bastard Kincaid had held Lee, was ready to fire on him. . . Amanda hadn't hesitated. And now Kincaid was laid out at the city morgue, where he should be. Now, all that Lee was waiting for was for her to finish debriefing. Then, he'd take her home. If she wanted to go. He wasn't sure if it had sunk in to her yet that she had killed a man. Lee could still remember his first time. He knew that Amanda had a lot of nightmares to deal with.  
  
First, she would be taken out of the field. Lee groaned slightly at the thought of not having Amanda by his side for the next two weeks while she underwent Phaff's psych evaluations. He knew that it would be the first thing Billy ordered once he came back from his long weekend in the country with Jeannie.  
  
Lee was brought out of his reverie when he heard the door to the debriefing room open, and Amanda walked out. Her mouth was drawn into a frown, and her eyes appeared lifeless. Lee felt a tug near the vicinity of his heart to see his best friend like this. This usually bright, laughing woman, was now so withdrawn from everything around her. Lee shook his head, and walked over to where she was standing.  
  
Amanda looked up to see Lee, and tried to force a smile. Her face, however, refused to cooperate. "Lee," she said quietly.  
  
Lee cleared his throat of the lump that had suddenly formed there. "How are you feeling?" He took her hand in his, reveling in the feel.  
  
"I'm. . . I'll. . . I'll be alright," Amanda choked out, trying not to shed the tears that were threatening beneath the surface of the calm facade she was trying to exude.  
  
Even a blind man would see that she was still trying to sort out what had happened. Lee was not a blind man. "Here, let me take you home."  
  
"No! I mean, oh god! I can't. . . I can't go and face Mother, and the boys. I need someplace to think. . ." she looked at Lee. Pleading brown eyes met hazel.  
  
"Okay, we'll go anyplace you want. You tell me, I'll drive."  
  
Amanda nodded her head, and followed Lee out of the Agency.  
  
  
**********  
  
Chapter Two: Night Falls All Around Me  
Rock Creek Park   
7:30 PM  
  
'Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendor. Grasp it, sense it. Tremulous and tender. . .' (From Music of the Night.)  
  
Amanda had decided she wanted to go to the park. Looking up at the stars which were just starting to come out, she wondered if there was someone else out there, looking up at these same stars, thinking the same things she was thinking. So many stars, so many lives. So many people whose lives could have been destroyed tonight. What would have happened if Kincaid had pulled that trigger? She would have lost the best friend she'd ever known. And. . . well, she knew that Lee meant more to her than just a friend. She'd even admitted to herself that she loved him. Even if she knew he might never feel the same.  
  
Tonight, however, she found she could not even look him in the eye. He'd been standing silently not far from where she was sitting on a park bench. She could feel him watching her, and wondered briefly what he must think of her. Was it disgust at what she'd done? 'Or,' Amanda thought with a slight chill running up her spine, 'Would he feel some sort of pride? That I followed everything I've been taught?'  
  
Amanda turned back to Lee, shyly. He'd brought her here to help her clear her thoughts. But now, the exhaustion of the afternoon's events was starting to overtake her. She just didn't want to go home. Not yet.   
  
Lee saw the anguish written on her face, and the exhaustion that was threatening to overtake her. He walked over and sat down next to her, taking her hand in his. Still unable to look him in the eye, she opted instead to look down at her feet. He hooked his finger under her chin, and brought her head up to look at his. "Hey there," he whispered gently. "You look almost ready to pass out. Whenever you want to go . . ."  
  
"You must think I'm a horrible person. I . . . Lee, I never thought I could do that. I never wanted to . . ."   
  
"I know you didn't, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that," his voice wafting gently to her ears. "And I don't think you're a horrible person, Amanda. I know what it took for you to do what you did tonight. Believe me when I say I know what you're going through. I've been there, Amanda."  
  
Amanda finally met Lee's eyes. "I don't know how I can face Mother and the boys tonight."   
  
This was one thing he had never had to deal with. He didn't know what it was like to go home to someone after a day like today. He'd never had to deal with the issues of going home to a family that had no idea of what he did for a living. That couldn't possibly understand that sometimes, he'd have to do certain things in the line of duty, to protect himself, and others. But he could understand why she wouldn't want to go home yet. "Tell you what. If you want, you can crash at my place tonight. That way, you have somewhere quiet to collect you thoughts. And if you want to talk, I'll be there to talk. I can take the couch."  
  
"No, I'll take the couch. I can't put you out of your bed," she whispered.  
  
"Yes, you can. It's my fault that tonight happened. If I'd listened and called for backup first, you wouldn't have followed me. I insist, you take the bed. Let me make this up to you, Amanda."  
  
She didn't have the strength to argue anything so trivial. "Okay, thank you, Lee. It means a lot to me, you know."  
  
Lee gave a semblance of a smile. "Not a problem, partner."  
  
  
**********  
  
Chapter Three: Remembered Nightmare  
Lee's apartment  
  
'Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair, down we plunge to the prison of my mind, down that path into darkness deep as hell. . . '  
(From 'Down Once More')  
  
"So, would you like something to drink? Coffee? Soda?" Lee asked as Amanda sat on his couch.  
  
"Something a little stronger," Amanda answered quietly.  
  
Lee froze for a minute. Amanda almost never drank. Okay, maybe a glass or two of wine at any number of formal functions they'd gone to over the past two years. He contemplated the wisdom of giving her alcohol in her still shocked state. He looked over to her.  
  
"Please," she whispered.  
  
He couldn't deny her anything when she looked like that. Just like he couldn't deny her the sanctuary of his apartment tonight, when he knew she wasn't up to facing her family. He went to his wine cabinet in the kitchen and selected a bottle of Montrechet. Then he pulled two wineglasses from the cupboard.  
  
"Thank you," Amanda said as he poured her a glass.  
  
"You're most welcome."  
  
"Lee?"  
  
"Hmm?" he responded, looking deep into her eyes.  
  
"What was it like? The first time you . . ."  
  
Lee took a deep breath, the question taking him back in time. "Strangely, I found myself in a similar situation as you did tonight. My partner went in ahead of me. I heard shots, and went after him. When I got inside, someone had a gun to his head. My partner elbowed the man holding him, which made him lower his gun for just a second. When the gun started to raise back to my partner, I fired."  
  
Amanda thought about this as Lee paused, waiting for him to continue. "But how did you deal with it after?" She lifted the glass to her lips again.  
  
"Well, I guess the way most of us do, Amanda. Of course I had to go to the shrink. And it took a while before I could look at a gun without remembering what I'd done. But I knew in the end that it was either I kill him, or he would kill my partner."  
  
Amanda thought about for this for several long moments. Lee was, in his way, telling her it was not her fault. She'd done what she'd had to do. That didn't, however, ease her mind.  
  
  
**********  
  
Chapter four: Surrender to your darkest dream  
  
'. . . floating falling, sweet intoxication. Touch me, trust me, savor each sensation.'  
(From Music of the Night.)  
  
She finally began to relax as the wine started to take affect. She'd made a big decision tonight, but how would he take it? She finally decided to just blurt it out, get it over with. "Lee, I'm done. I want to quit. The Agency, that is."  
  
Lee was shocked to say the least. She was leaving. Did that mean that she wanted nothing more to do with him, as well? The thoughts buzzed through his head at almost lightening speed, as the fear coursed through him. How could he convince her? How could he explain to her that he didn't want to lose her? She was the best friend he'd ever had, in a world where having friends was dangerous. He'd let her closer than he'd let anyone in a long time. Finally, his tongue latched on to the only words he could think of. "Amanda, nothing like that is ever going to happen again."   
  
Amanda now had tears running from her eyes. "How can . . . you be. . . sure?"  
  
"Because," he paused, the fear as well as the slight buzz from the alcohol making him stutter slightly, "Cause I'd never. . . would never let anyone hurt . . . hurt the woman I love."  
  
Now Amanda was shocked. He'd said he loved her! Euphoria was coursing through her soul.  
  
Lee watched the smile light up her face. He leaned over to touch her lips with his, gently at first, ever so gently. A thousand volts of electricity seemed to be coursing through those lips. He pulled back at the wealth of feelings coursing through him.  
  
He pulled back. That's all Amanda could think about. He pulled back. 'Not this time, buster!' She touched her hand to his face, the love pouring out of her eyes. This time, she moved towards him. Gently at first, since she'd felt that electricity course through herself the first time. Then more demanding.  
  
His lips parted, his tongue licking her lips for entrance. He nibbled her bottom lip, and suddenly they parted, granting him the taste of her mouth.   
  
It was dizzying, this kiss. Like something out of those romance novels her mother read. Amanda could feel those fireworks. Her body felt out of her control. She was spiraling into the light of a thousand stars, and couldn't move. Her mind, addled by the wine as it was, kept telling her to move, to get out of his embrace before anything else happened, something that they could not take back. Her body refused to cooperate, and her heart took over the debate. 'You've wanted this for a long time, Amanda King. Just go for it!'  
  
It was dizzying, the sensations that accompanied that kiss. He'd kissed dozens of women, and not a one made him feel the way he felt kissing this simple housewife from Arlington. 'Simple?' his mind shouted. No, there was nothing simple about Amanda. His Amanda. He never wanted this euphoria to end.  
  
She felt his hand coasting up her side, and the movement was in no way ticklish. She plunged her hands in his hair, drawing him ever closer.  
  
Her hands plunged into his hair, drawing him impossibly closer to her. And it was what he wanted, to be as close as possible to this beautiful woman. "Amanda," he moaned, bringing his lips to the hollow of her neck.  
  
A tsunami of desire coursed through her as he started kissing the hollow of her neck. An answering moan of "Lee" escaped her lips. Her hands left his hair and caressed his chest.  
  
They were spiraling out of control. . .   
  
  
********** 


	2. Part two: After The Night

Wild Night, Part Two: After The Night  
  
(See Part One For Disclaimers)  
  
**********  
  
Chapter five: the Morning After  
Do I really have to tell you where?  
  
. . . for just one moment in time, I was yours and you were mine. A moment that's gone with the breeze. . .   
Original Poem  
  
Amanda was having this amazing dream. Okay, it didn't start out amazing; it started with Lee being held by Kincaid. But then Kincaid was dead. Lee took her to the Agency, and then Rock Creek Park. And then, they went to his apartment. . .' Oh. My. Gosh.' Amanda opened her eyes, and noticed immediately that she was not in her room at home. And she had no clothes on. And there it was, a large male hand around her waist. 'Oh. My. Gosh.' In the dream, the last thing she remembered was them kissing. Now, she had to concede that maybe it wasn't a dream. They had kissed, and had obviously gone a lot further . . .  
  
Lee was having this amazing dream. Amanda had come home to his apartment. They'd shared some wine, sat on the couch talking, and the next thing he knew, they were kissing. . . he'd picked her up, and they went towards the bedroom, and the peace he felt rivaled his other dream. . . Wait! 'Amanda?' His eyes opened, and the first thing he noticed was the soft woman spooned to him. Then he noticed that they were both naked. And the scent. . . Amanda's perfume. . . 'Oh. My. Gosh,' he thought, borrowing Amanda's favorite phrase.  
  
Amanda knew that he must be waking up, but she didn't dare move to find out who was spooned up behind her, although she had a pretty good idea. Then, the fluttering of his hand across her belly stopped. 'He's awake,' she thought.  
  
He'd felt her body tense. 'What are we going to do? What should I say? What can I say to her? Oh hell.' What was he thinking? It was obvious what the outcome of last night had to be. . .  
  
'What do I say to him? What are we going to do about this. . . Oh my gosh. Did we really? We must have.' The memories of them entering the bedroom slammed into her. 'Oh my gosh! What am I going to say?'  
  
"Amanda?" Lee whispered.  
  
'Should I pretend to be asleep? If I do, then I won't have to face him yet. I can be fully clothed, and at least have some of my dignity back. No, I can't do it. We're going to have to talk about this,' she decided. "Lee."  
  
'She's awake. I was hoping she'd still be asleep. Then I could have snuck out and gotten dressed, and we wouldn't have to talk about this.' He knew what she must be thinking. Amanda King did NOT have one-night stands. And she certainly didn't take sex lightly.  
  
Amanda couldn't move. She didn't know how she would face him. She did NOT have one-night stands. And she certainly didn't take sex lightly.  
  
Finally, Lee found his voice, and tried for a light-hearted tone. "I'm, ah, going to make some coffee. Would you like some?"  
  
"Um, sure. Uh, you wouldn't mind if I, ah, used your shower, would you?"  
  
"Oh, no, go ahead. The towels are in the cabinet under the sink." Now the only question was how he was going to get out of the bed with out Amanda seeing him. 'What am I worried about? I've been with dozens of women, and this never bothered me before?' A little voice, at the back of his head, rebutted, 'but it's Amanda, not one of your usual women.' Shaking the voice out of his head, and noticing that she was not turning around, he hopped out of the bed, and reached for his robe. After tying a knot in the rope, he left the bedroom for the kitchen.  
  
"Thank goodness," Amanda whispered when he left the room. She climbed out of the bed, looking for her clothes, only to find they were nowhere to be found. She called out, "Um, Lee? Are my, ah, clothes out there?"  
  
Lee had noticed the clothes scattered about as soon as he entered the living room. Realizing that Amanda's clothes were out here, he called back, "Uh, yeah. I'll bring them to you in a second, okay?"  
  
"All right," Amanda called out, and hurried to the bathroom, making sure to close the door.  
  
******  
  
Lee started gathering the clothes from the floor. He picked up Amanda's blouse and fingered the buttons. He remembered fumbling with those same buttons the night before, and sending one flying across the room in his haste to get the shirt off of her. "Oh my. . ." He looked behind the couch and found her pants, and then he found her bra by the coffee table. He saw himself fumbling with the clasp, feeling as nervous as a teenager on his first time. "Huh? Nervous? My God, what happened last night?" He sat down on the couch. They'd been drinking wine, the glasses were still on the table, and the bottle next to them was empty. Snatches of the conversation they'd had floated through his memory. He'd held her hand, telling her that nothing like that would ever happen again. She'd said he couldn't promise that. He'd argued the point, saying he would never let anyone hurt the woman he-  
  
"Oh. My. God!" He'd told Amanda that he loved her. He'd known that he cared about Amanda more than he'd ever cared about anyone. But love? Was that what those feelings were, the ones he couldn't put his finger on? Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he went into the bedroom and placed Amanda's clothes on the bed. As he did so, a floodgate of memories opened up, and he saw the entire night, the tender kisses and caresses, the feeling that had coursed through his very soul as he'd made love to Amanda. Every intimate exchange. He heard the little mewling sounds she'd made in the back of her throat as he'd touched her. And with startling clarity, remembered the feel of her hands on him, and finally, the sense of coming home as their union had been sealed. And it hit him, that last night had been like nothing he'd ever experienced before. The only thing was, how would he explain this to Amanda?  
  
He heard the shower turn off, and mumbled under his breath, "Snap out of it, Stetson!" He growled under his breath as he fished through his drawers for something to wear.  
  
******  
In the shower, Amanda's mind was starting to replay the events of the night before. Sitting on the couch with Lee, the wine, talking about the case, her actions when Kincaid raised the gun to Lee's head. He'd told her nothing like that would ever happen again. She'd said he couldn't promise that. He'd countered, saying he would never let anyone hurt the woman he-  
  
"Oh. My. Gosh!' Amanda muttered under her breath. Had Lee really told her he loved her? No, her mind had to be playing tricks on her. All the times he'd told her that they were just business partners, and friends. Very good friends. Her mind played over all the times they'd held hands, all the times he'd guided her with a hand placed at the small of her back. And the kiss, the kiss in San Angelo. The speech that came after it.  
  
Then there was that time he'd come to her house the night of Buck's block party, in that W.C. Fields mask. He'd been so close to kissing her that night, she knew it. And then her mother came out, asking if she'd seen her other shoe.  
  
Sure, she'd hoped, deep, deep down, that someday he would, but even she recognized that for what it was, a dream. A wonderful fantasy. How many times had she dreamed about last night? All those cold, lonely nights. And the feelings he aroused in her, just by his touch! Just by a simple holding of hands. Could that tender emotion be nestled inside Lee Stetson's heart, and could it really be for her?  
  
She finished her shower, her mind still centered on that last thought. If he had told her he loved her, could it have been just because they had been drinking? 'Or maybe,' that little, tiny sliver of hope inside her whispered, 'he did mean it. Look at the leaps your relationship has taken in the past years. Think of all the times you've caught him staring at you lately. The look in his eye that you only have a second to catch. I know you think you've been imagining it, but what if you haven't? Isn't it slightly possible to be a combination of the two? That he does feel that way for you, but he couldn't get the guts to say it while he's dead sober?'  
  
She finished toweling herself off and went to retrieve her clothes from Lee's bed. As she put her bra on, she remembered the feel of him caressing her. When she reached for the blouse, she remembered the popping button. She could see him sweeping her up in his arms. And now she remembered him asking if she was sure she wanted to continue.  
  
"Oh my GOSH!" She really hadn't thought she'd been taken advantage of, but as that memory hit her full force, she knew. . . she'd told him yes. She could have backed away, but she didn't. Lee had given her that chance . . . didn't that alone speak volumes? Suddenly, the rest of the night came back to her. The gentle feel of his touch. The look in his eyes as they'd been united. She'd never seen him look that way before. Her skin tingled as she placed a finger to her lips, remembering the way he'd kissed her. The way she'd responded.   
  
Shaking the images from her head before they overwhelmed her, she came out into the living room to find Lee sitting at the coffee table in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. 'He looks better in jeans and a T-shirt than any man has a right to look.' She sat down on the opposite end of the couch, far enough to stay away from his touch.  
  
His head was still hung, as though he couldn't look her in the eye. He couldn't figure out how to begin this discussion with out it coming out wrong. He realized that he wouldn't have told her he lo-lo-lo-! God! He couldn't even say it in his mind! But he knew he wouldn't have said it last night if he didn't feel it, not even to get her in his bed. He'd never used that line to get a woman into bed, never! All his women knew what he was about, that he was seeking something in the short-term, that he never did anything in the long-term. How did he tell his best friend that he was scared of what she made him feel, so scared that he'd pushed her away countless times. So scared that maybe she wouldn't feel the same. So scared that he wasn't even sure that he was ready to start something with her, for fear he'd mess it up. And that's what he did, he'd messed up. Amanda deserved better than that.  
  
She didn't know how to begin. His head was hanging there. She knew that he knew she was there, but he wouldn't look at her. How could she tell him what she knew in her heart of hearts? She had no idea if those feelings were really returned or not, no matter what he'd said last night. How could she tell him she loved him? Would just coming out and saying it pressure him into admitting whatever it was that he felt for her? She knew now that he at least desired her, or he did last night. She could tell that he knew exactly who was with him. She didn't think he would have paused the way he did with any of his other woman. Most of them knew exactly what he was after. So did she, but last night it hadn't made any difference to her. She'd needed him too much to stop at that point.  
  
"Amanda?" Lee asked, finally lifting his head, even though he couldn't look her in the eye.  
  
"Yes?" Amanda was staring in her coffee, as if by looking in the dark pool she could tell the future.  
  
"Um, about last night," he broke off.  
  
Amanda raised her head. 'Here it comes. It was just two people who got carried away. Last night didn't mean anything to him, or he wouldn't be so uncomfortable around me now. He knows what it would have meant to me. He knows I don't take things like that lightly.' She decided to let him off easy, even though she felt like she was suffocating. "I understand."  
  
"You do?" He let out a deep breath and looked over at her, still staring at her coffee.  
  
She couldn't let him know how hurt she was. Amanda could feel his eyes on her now, waiting for her to say something. She nodded her head, knowing that he would see the movement. "Yeah, I understand perfectly."  
  
"And, uh. . . Amanda?" He couldn't take his eyes off of her now. Lee's mind was racing. 'What does she understand? Does she understand how I feel? Does she not feel the same? Does she know how scared I am? Oh God, what if she doesn't feel the same way?'  
  
"I think I'd better be going," Amanda continued on as if he hadn't spoken. "Mother and the boys will be worried." She headed to the door and found her purse on the table. Before heading out the door, she turned to Lee and said, "I'll. . . I'll see you." She closed the door behind her.  
  
Lee was fixed to the couch. Part of him was screaming to go after her, the other part was relieved to get out of this conversation so easily. He didn't think she really understood what he was thinking. All those times he'd said that they had a professional relationship, no more, no less, floated through his mind. He'd come to rely on her instincts and her unique way of looking at things lately. How could he let her walk out like this? He finally leapt off the couch and headed after her, only to find an empty hallway. 'No matter,' he thought and headed for the stairs. When he finally reached the parking lot, he realized that he'd driven her here last night. Her car was still at the Agency. But she was nowhere to be found. He hopped in his car and started around the block, thinking that she'd headed for a metro stop. But she was nowhere to be found. After a half-hour of scouring his neighborhood for her, he headed over to the Agency.  
  
When he arrived at the Agency parking lot, dismay overtook him. Her car was gone.  
  
  
**********  
Chapter six: The Resignation  
Monday, June 17, 9:30 AM.  
IFF, Billy's office.  
  
"Past the point of no return, the final threshold. The bridge is crossed so stand and watch it burn. We've passed the point of no return. . ."  
(From "Point of no Return")  
  
  
Billy Melrose walked into the bullpen with a bounce in his step, despite the grayness of the day. That long weekend with Jeannie had been one of his better ideas. No telephones, no interruptions. Just him and his wife for four days, a mini vacation that he'd been badly in need of.  
  
Sitting at his desk, he started sorting through the pile of papers that had accumulated during his absence. One in particular caught his eye. "Well, Stetson, you've finally done it," he raged under his breath, his mood now dark as the day. He headed for the door, bellowing out into the bullpen "SCARECROW! Get in here NOW!"  
  
Francine looked up from the paperwork she'd been absorbed in and looked over at Lee. "What have you done now?"  
  
"Nothing that I know of," Lee replied innocently, heading to Billy's office. "What's up, Billy?"  
  
Billy closed the door and the shades, a sure sign that he was about to get a lashing about something. "What the hell happened this weekend?"  
  
Lee could do nothing but stutter at this point.  
  
Billy handed him a piece of paper from his desk. As Lee read it, he felt like he'd been punched in the gut. She'd said she was leaving the Agency, but he hadn't believed it. Until now. He was looking at Amanda's letter of resignation.  
  
"Do you know where I can find her?" He squeaked out.  
  
"No, I don't. I'd imagine she'd be at home."  
  
"She's not, Billy. I. . ." how could he put this? Suddenly, he felt like Billy could see through him, and knew exactly what he'd done on Friday night. He'd tried calling Amanda's house all weekend, but couldn't get past the answering machine. Going by had done him no good, either. She seemed to have disappeared. Even calling early this morning had proved fruitless. "I tried getting hold of her all weekend. She's not there, and neither are her mother or the boys."  
  
Billy knew now that it had to be something personal between them. He'd seen all the signs that they were falling in love with each other, but he didn't think they'd done anything about it yet. Now he wasn't so sure. "Look, just tell me what happened this weekend."  
  
Lee hung his head, and recounted the turns the Kincaid case had taken, while Billy cursed softly under his breath.  
  
"It was just supposed to be surveillance, Lee What in the hell were you thinking?"  
  
"I was thinking I'd heard shots, Billy."  
  
"And you went in without backup! And actually expected Amanda to stay in the car? You know she never stays in the car!"  
  
"Ah, hell, Billy, don't you think I know that?" Lee's head shot up. "Don't you think I don't know that she never would have pulled that trigger if I hadn't been so . . . pigheaded."  
  
"Did she see Phaff yet?"  
  
"I don't know," Lee answered honestly. "They kept her in debriefing forever, he may have been in there. They wouldn't let me any where near there."  
  
"Is there anything else I should know about this? She says she never wants to be contacted by anyone in the Agency again, Lee."   
  
"I know," Lee whispered softly, his head falling into his hands. "I just don't know if she'll ever forgive me. . . Ah, god, Billy! I don't even know if she. . . if she. . . she doesn't know. . . Ah hell!"  
  
Billy shook his head, wondering if he should say anything. Lee may not have come straight out with it, but there was more, of that he was certain. Did Lee know how Amanda felt for him? He usually tried to keep himself out of his agent's private lives, but watching Lee in agony . . .   
  
"Lee, Amanda . . ." Billy paused, choosing his words carefully. "Amanda is a very special woman."  
  
"Yes," Lee admitted.  
  
"Do you want to tell me about it?"  
  
"I'm not sure."  
  
"You care about her . . . she's been a great friend to you. always stuck up for you, even when all the evidence has pointed out of your favor."  
  
"Yes," Lee whispered.  
  
Billy thought in the ensuing silence. 'Should I say something about the deeper feelings there?'  
  
"It goes a lot further than friendship, Billy," Lee mumbled.  
  
Finally throwing caution to the wind, Billy stated simply, "She's in love with you."  
  
Lee's head shot up at this statement. "She's. . . she's told you that?"  
  
"No, just like you haven't told me that you're in love with her."  
  
Lee started to sputter.  
  
"Lee, I didn't get to be section chief by being blind. I can see it in the way you look at each other. Up until now, I'd thought you were both still in denial about it."  
  
"Billy, we . . . we were. Maybe she still is. Oh hell, I don't know. I mean, she makes it clear that she doesn't want to talk to me."  
  
"Lee. . . "  
  
"No, Billy, it's probably better this way. I mean, what do I have to offer her?" He stood up and pounded out of the office, leaving Billy dumbstruck.  
  
  
The end.   
  
***** 


End file.
